Sonya Sones


BIO

Passionate about writing, drawing, and photography from a young age, Sonya Sones has been writing in her journals and capturing images since her teens. She began making animated films at the age of seventeen, and the rest, as they say, is history. She studied film making in college and went on to teach animation, make films for public television, and edit such Hollywood films as River’s Edge. Sones lives on the beach in California with her husband and two children. Recently chosen as a Best Book for Young Adults by the American Library Association, STOP PRETENDING is her first book.

Back to top.   

PAST INTERVIEW

February 18, 2000

Author Sonya Sones happily claims to have an "inner teenager," and maybe that's why her autobiographical book, STOP PRETENDING, is so phenomenal. In her book, through poetry, she explores the wide range of emotions she felt when her older sister had a nervous breakdown. In this interview find out why Sones finally chose to tell this wrenching story, how her sister feels about it now, her astute advice to aspiring poets, and much more.

TBB: Your first book of poetry, STOP PRETENDING, is about a nervous breakdown that your older sister had when you were around 13 years of age, and what that breakdown did to your family. What made you decide to tell your story in verse form?

SS: I was taking a poetry class at UCLA with an amazing teacher named Myra Cohn Livingston. I'd been concentrating on writing funny poems. But one day, Myra gave us an assignment to write a poem using falling rhythms, which lend themselves to heavier themes. Out popped this really sad poem about having to visit my sister in the mental hospital. I was pretty shocked! When Myra read it, she recommended that I write more poems about my sister's illness. And that was the beginning of STOP PRETENDING.

TBB: Your book has been compared to THE BELL JAR, I NEVER PROMISED YOU A ROSE GARDEN, and LISA, BRIGHT AND DARK --- all about mental illness. How does it feel to have your book compared to such classics?

SS: Very flattering!

TBB: You've written that it was scary delving into your memories surrounding your sister's breakdown. Did writing STOP PRETENDING prove cathartic for you in any way?

SS: Yes. Sometimes I even found myself crying while I worked. And when I wrote some of the angry poems, it felt great to be able to admit the truth about having had all those ugly feelings. It was especially cathartic to write the poem called "Tired," which is three solid pages of nothing but griping!

TBB: Though your subject matter could be considered difficult, your story is beautifully told. What does your sister think of the book?

SS: My sister loves the book. She's been great --- 100% supportive of myefforts. I thought she might be worried about her privacy being invaded, and I was prepared to offer to use a pen name, but the issue never even came up. I was so impressed with her selfless response. She said, "You know, a book like this could be used to open up discussions about mental illness in schools!"

TBB: As an adolescent, how did you deal with your feelings in relation to your sister's breakdown? Did you have any outlets?

SS: I had my journal. It was like therapy for me. I wrote in it every day, sometimes three or four times a day. And I never edited myself. I just poured out the truth about my fear, my anger, my shame and my worry that one day I might lose my mind, too. Somehow, just getting it all down on paper made me feel much better.

TBB: Did you hope to accomplish anything in particular by writing STOP PRETENDING?

SS: I hoped that people who read the book would feel less alone in their struggles, no matter what those struggles might be. I wanted it to help eliminate the terrible stigma against mental illness. Lots of people are scared of the mentally ill, some even make fun of them. So I wanted people to come away from the experience of reading STOP PRETENDING feeling more sympathetic to the victims of this awful disease and their families.

TBB: You studied film making in college and have been teaching animation, making films for public television, and editing films ever since. When did you decide to try your hand at writing?

SS: When my children were born I chose to stop working in the film business, because that often meant a twelve-hour day. Why bother having kids if I wasn't going to be able to spend any time with them? One of the things I most enjoyed doing with them was reading to them. I found myself thinking that I'd like to try my hand at writing books for children. That way I'd be able to work when they went off to school in the morning, but be a full-time mom when they returned home every afternoon.

TBB: As a child, you were very passionate about writing, drawing, and photography. Did you ever think you'd write a book when you grew up?

SS: Not really. When I was young I wanted to be an artist or a photographer. Then, when I was seventeen and I learned how to make animated films, I decided I wanted to be a filmmaker. It wasn't until after I became a mother that I decided to try my hand at writing books.

TBB: Was it difficult finding a publisher for your book? How did you go about it?

SS: I went to a writing conference and met an agent. He read my manuscript, flipped for it, and in less than a week he had a bidding war going! I have a lot of writer friends, so I know that it doesn't usually happen that easily. I was phenomenally lucky!

TBB: Do you think you'll write another book? If so, are you working on anything right now? Can you give us a preview?

SS: People often talk about having an inner child. I have an inner teenager. And that teenager has a lot to say! I plan on writing many more books. I'm almost finished with my second one. It's called WHAT MY MOTHER DOESN'T KNOW and it tells the story of a fourteen-year-old girl who's trying to figure out the difference between love and lust.

TBB: The poetry in your book is so evocative. When did you start writing poetry?

SS: I began writing poetry five years ago, when I enrolled in the UCLA class I mentioned earlier, with Myra Cohn Livingston. She taught us to write in form and gave us tons of homework exercises to acquaint us with all the classic meters. Myra helped us to learn the difference between good and bad poetry. She was very tough, but very wonderful. I think of her as my "poetry mother," because she gave birth to the poet in me.

TBB: For those out there interested in being poets or writers when they grow up, what advice would you give them?

SS: Start writing right now! The more you do it, the better you'll get at it. Read great writers. And read about how to write. There are some excellent books out there on how to write, including one by my teacher called "Poem-making." And if you can find some other kids who are serious about writing, form a critique group --- get together on a regular basis to read, discuss each others work and share constructive criticism. That's what I've done for years and it's really helped.

TBB: Did you have any favorite writers or poets growing up?

SS: I liked Dr. Seuss when I was little, and then Beverly Cleary and Madeline L'Engle when I was a bit older. As a teenager, I inhaled the diaries and novels of Anais Nin and poetry by Richard Brautigan. I also loved anything by Kurt Vonnegut. These days, my favorite poet is Billy Collins.

TBB: Your book is directed at teens, yet adults would also benefit from reading your story. What made you decide to write it for a young adult audience?

SS: Well, the poetry class I was taking at UCLA was called "Writing Poetry for Children" and I wanted to write things that would appeal to my own kids. It was published as a young adult book because that was the world I was in, but I hope it will end up reaching a large adult audience, too.

TBB: What do you like best about writing? Is it any different from working in film?

SS: I love painting pictures with words. I get high when I find just the right way to express a feeling or a thought and know that I've found an original way to say it. And moving people with words, making them cry, has been enormously gratifying --- a powerful feeling of connecting with other people on a deep level.

Working in film may sound like a glamorous profession, but in reality it's just a lot of hard work. So much money's at stake that people get extremely nervous. As a film editor, you cut the picture to please the director. Then the producer makes you re-cut it to please him, while the director mopes in the corner. Then the studio has you re-cut it again, while the producer glares over your shoulder. So it's very difficult politically. Writing is blissfully solitary and way less pressured. Instead of helping other people tell their stories, I can tell my own stories, at my own pace, in my own way, from my own heart.

TBB: You co-edited the haunting movie "River's Edge" with Howard Smith. Have you edited anything else our readers would be familiar with?

SS: I edited an episode of "LA Law" in its first season and worked as an assistant editor on "The Warriors" and on "Urban Cowboy," but that was probably too long ago for your readers to have seen.

TBB: The images in your book are very visual and unspool like frames on a film reel. Is there any correlation between writing poetry and, say, editing or making films?

SS: It's funny you say that, because when I was working on the poems, I often saw them as individual scenes in a film. Both film and poetry use images to tell stories. As an editor you choose when to cut to the close-up and when to be in the long-shot. As a poet you're essentially doing the same thing --- choosing when to go in close and study a detail, when to pull back and show the big picture. Editing is very much about rhythm and pace --- when to speed things up, when to slow them down, how long to stay with each image. Poetry deals with these same exact issues. So in retrospect, the years I spent editing were probably great preparation for my becoming a poet.

TBB: And finally, if you could give kids out there dealing with mental illness in their own families one piece of advice, what would it be?

SS: Gosh, I don't think I can choose just one! I guess I'd remind them that they aren't alone. I'd tell them not to be ashamed. I'd say find other people who are going through what you're going through and talk about it. Get yourself a journal and write about it. Get some therapy, if you can. Hang on to your self. Don't get swallowed up by the enormity of it. Find ways to have fun in spite of it all, ways to take breaks and forget about it. Remember that all your feelings of anger and resentment are entirely okay. And know that things will get better.